Wee Scottish Granny and her brother George were sprawled out in the lounge – a sofa and newspaper each. I tried to persuade them to come out for a breath of fresh air but fear immediately kicked in that someone might steal their sofa when they left so they decided to stay put.
I left the room listening to them shouting out headlines to each other, Uncle George started with the sports section, Granny was pointing out grammar mistakes. Neither one was listening to what the other was saying. By the time I came back Granny was calling out random names and Uncle George was replying, “No hen, I dunnae kenn that wan”… It took me a while to work it out but I realised Gran was reading out the names of people listed in the obituary!
Me: I can’t believe you are going through the obituary!
George: I dunnae kenn why ya laughing, I need to kenn who I dunnae need tae speak tae when I get hame
Gran: Do ya kenn Helen Mitchell?
Uncle George: Aye, I kenn a Helen Mitchell but I dunnae think she’ll be deed, she’s younger than me
Gran: Well it isnae her then coz this wans elder than you
Uncle George: That’s good hen coz I like Helen
The things these kids do to pass the time…