Ten reasons why women should not watch football

I recently watched a football match with a group of women. Now I understand what men have been complaining about all this time:

1. The announcement of the line up was met with boos and disappointment as ‘the most gorgeous player’ was not included

2. At kick off an argument started because it couldn’t be agreed whether the team they were supporting were ‘the whites or the reds’

3. Each tackle was met with a wince and scream of ‘oooo, he’s such a bully’

4. Twenty minutes in and concentration was redirected to the sale announced at the local shopping mall

5. Shouts of ‘penalty’, ‘corner’ and ‘offside’ were all followed by an enquiring look and a whisper of ‘did I say that at the right time?’

6. The countdown to half time started amidst sulks and groans after being told more than once to stop talking about shoes and concentrate

7.  At half time when it’s okay to talk everyone was silent

8. The second half invited discussion on the fact that football would be a lot more interesting if the men played naked

9. Ten minutes before the final whistle the ‘are we reds or whites?’ discussion started again

10. The final whistle was met with major excitement, as ‘they will take their t-shirts off in a minute’