Granny and the eyebroo-meeting banker

Most of you will remember stories involving my wee Scottish Granny.  She’s the funniest, most amazing woman I know who just happens to have balls of steel.  She cares not what she says or who she says it to, one of the reasons why I love her sooooo much.

During her last visit I took her with me to the bank.  We sat in a stuffy waiting room, surrounded by people sitting in silence, playing on their phones and watching the customer number slowly getting closer to the number they held in their hand.

I’ve written our conversation in my best Scottish accent, please feel free to read it wearing a kilt, eating haggis is optional.

Gran (In the loudest whisper she could muster)See that wee fella sitting serving people in front o us?

Me (Sliding down in my chair in a half-assed attempt to hide):   Shhhhh – Yes?

G (Stepping up the volume):  I have never in my life seen eyebroos that meet like that

M (Sending an apologetic look towards the bank teller):  Shhhh Gran, he can hear you

G:  Aye but hen, have you ever seen eyebroos like that?

M (Pleading for the ground to swallow me):  No Gran.  Shhhhh

G:  Well I hope we dunnae have to go and see him

M:  Why?

G:  You kenn what they say?

M (Sigh):  No Gran, what do they say?

G:  Beware o the man whose eyebroos meet, for in his heart there lays deceit

Image

Fortunately we didn’t get the eyebrow-meeting-liar and we left the bank whilst listening to the giggles of the others customers.

Gotta love her.

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About Politely Insulting

I'll be writing random stories about family, friends and unsuspecting peeps.
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13 Responses to Granny and the eyebroo-meeting banker

  1. And never trust anyone with a mole on their face either.

  2. Akelamalu says:

    Never trust a person who’s eyes are too close together either!

    I love your grannie. 😉

  3. I wish I had balls of steel! LOL
    Your grannie is fabulous – Hoots Mon!! LOL
    I wonder if he heard ROFL

  4. Anne Nash says:

    Just remember Kerry that a lot of the old sayings are true and beware of any mkan whose eyebrows meet. I love you dearly

  5. Rob says:

    You should write comedy! Or do stand-up! This is so funny and I love your granny!

    This brings back memories of my grandmother. We could never pass a man without her commenting loudly: “All men are miserable. You might as well marry a rich one.” And for the man who proudly displayed a moustache above his lip; she’d walk right up and pull on it hard: “I don’t like moustaches, you know.” Most people just smiled and walked away, but I think she may have hurt a few upper lips!

    Maybe we are very distant cousins. My grandmother was Irish, but she always claimed we had a bit of Scottish 🙂

  6. God bless for Granny 🙂
    xo jj

  7. Bernie Wood says:

    Reading today’s post has made me realize just how much I have missed you and Granny. She is so special and so funny.. What I truly love is that you recognize and acknowledge all the “special” traits your Granny has. Love you dear friend, thank you for sharing this wonderful lady with us. Big hugs, xo

  8. Hilary says:

    We all love that woman.. and have missed your stories about her. Thanks for this. 🙂

  9. lisleman says:

    Oh I found you again. I suspect you are running from Interpol. Of course, our NSA probably knows where you have been. I found a comment of yours on “The Vegetable Assassin” who is another Forrest Gump type blogger. They just stop in the middle of a long run and say “I’m done running.” I liked the story of the bank lobby and the Bert type teller. I recall one with Granny (I think) and an uncle driving around clubs in Dubai? I don’t know it could have been your post or a dream I had.

  10. VEGGIE says:

    Dude! And about effing time too! I am still here but have been away (not in prison!) but I am back and ha!!!! So glad to hear about wee Scottish granny again. Tell Lisle GODDAMN IT MAN, I DESERVE A BREAK! PFFFFT! 🙂 I told him myself. HI! I’ve missed you.

  11. lisleman says:

    Lisle-goddamn-it-man – now that’s an interesting spelling. I need to remember that for later use.

  12. I never knew a unibrow was so sinister.

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