Starting Over

      Remember me?

Eternally Distracted’s final post…

A few million, trillion years ago I started this here blog. I followed the rules and found myself a place in the blogosphere worthy of a couch potato with a fast disappearing waistline. I tapped away on the keyboard, ciggy in one hand, coffee in the other, eagerly splashing my life across t’internet. I only ever had one golden rule: Remember that my wee Scottish Granny reads every post and would clip my ear if I said anything too bad.

I waffled on about everything from face cream to mirrored Wham posters, Mary Poppins to Humpty Dumpty, the whole time my waistline bulged. I tried fattening up everyone around me and as that hasn’t worked I figure it’s time for a change. The hours put into this anonymous diary have to be put to something more ‘real’.

The best thing to come from this blog is the fact that you all fell in love with my wee Scottish Granny. I fell in love with her all over again too. She is seriously the most amazing person in the entire world filled with all the fun and energy of ten people my age and an inspiration to everyone lucky enough to meet her.

In the beginning I begged for followers and comments, now there’s too many to respond to. I’ve had lots of fun and a few outbursts. I outed myself and at times along the way upset and hurt the people closest to me. I have outgrown this space – in more ways than one.

It’s time for me to wash off that face mask, get rid of the hair band and let my hair down for a while. It was so much fun while it lasted and maybe one day you’ll see me disguised as another. Eternally Distracted is saying a final goodbye and so am I.

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Politely Insulting – A new name, a new beginning and proof that I lied

I swore I’d never do it again.  I promised that my days of blogging were over for good.  I vowed not to spend hours checking comments and stalking people I barely knew, I gave my word that those days were finally behind me… but then I also said I’d get fit, lose weight and become a pop star.

It seems I’m getting used to making resolutions that I can’t keep, you know the kind where you vow to stop drinking and the very next second you find yourself holding up a vodka whilst drunkenly spitting, ‘cheers’ at friends.  I promised to go to the gym until I realised that I just don’t like it that much.  I don’t know why you have to pay so much money for something that tortures you.  Blogging is free and I feel it’ll help my chubby fingers if nothing else.

So far today I have spent twenty trillion hours trying to think of a new name for this here page and I may already be regretting my decision. I figured I should call the blog something that reflects what I will write and it’s only fair to say that I will be insulting but in the politest possible way.

I’m pretty sure that this latest venture is stooopid and I may be having a nervous breakdown but all I want is for people to read my posts, comment on them and then continuously stalk me.  Surely it’s not too much to ask?